WPT Borgata Open

I'm blogging live from the Borgata Casino in lovely Atlantic City, NJ. I'll be here over the next few days covering the WPT Borgata Open. Buy-in is $10,000 and players start with $20K in chips. I'm sitting in press row with BJ from Card Player along with Heather and Jen from Poker Wire. It's a mini-WSOP reunion.

I can't tell you how much I missed working along side those cool folks. We seriously bonded during our six weeks together and spent many moment working until sun up. They are some really great people and make the insanity of covering a tournament a lot easier with their comedic skills, their professionalism, and their willingness to share information.

When I walked into the huge ballroom upstairs, I found myself standing next to Courtney Friel, the new hostess of the World Poker Tour. She's stunning! Her episodes won't hit the air until March 2006.

I missed Day One of the action because I was flying from Amsterdam to New York City. You can head over to Poker Wire or Card Player to see what happened. This year's WPT Borgata event started with 515 players. The prize pool is over $1.5 million and the top 45 players are getting paid. Action will end tonight when there are 45 players remaining.

Here's the payouts (thanks to BJ):

1st: $1,498,650

2nd: $799,280

3rd: $427,115

4th: $349,685

5th: $299,730

6th: $249,775

7th: $199,820

8th: $149,865

9th: $99,910

10th-12th: $64,942

13th-15th: $49,955

16th-18th: $34,969

19th-27th: $24,978

28th-36th: $14,987

37th-45th: $12,489

Over half the field was eliminated on Day One which inlcuded a ton of big name. Here are some notable bustouts on the first day: Johnny World Hennigan, Mel Judah, Chris Bigler, Liz Lieu, T.J. Cloutier, Edward Moncada, David Williams, My Main Man Freddy Deeb, Johnny Bax, Paul Darden, Andrew Black, John Myung, Miami John Cerruto, Antonio Esfandiari, Jennifer Tilly, Harry Demitriou, Mike Wattel, Phil Ivey, Toto Leonidas, Mimi Tran, Hoyt Corkins, Padraig Parkinson, Brad Kondracki, Dan Heimiller, Phil Unabomber Laak, and Amnon Filippi.

At the end of Day One, only 285 players survived out of 515. Tom Coan emerged as the early chip leader with over $280K in chips. David Benyamine was a close second along with WSOP runner-up Steve Dannemann is among the chipleaders with Chip Jett and David Pham.

Early on Day Two Chris Jesus Ferguson was knocked out when his Big Slick lost to A-9. Ouch. Even Jesus gets kicked in the junk every once in a while. Also eliminated were: Tim Phan, Mike Gracz, Quinn Do, Tony Cousineau, David Benyamine, Erik Seidel, Bob Stupak, Chip Jett, Carlos Mortensen, Cyndy Violette, and Steve Brecher.


New WPT Hostess Courtney Friel (click to enlarge)


Erick Lingren (for Heather & the April Sisters)

****** Live Blogging Updates ******

4:54pm... Bouncin Round the Room: In the corner they have a pretzel and root beer stand. They sell root beer floats and two cute Russian girls are working the booth. I was trying to see if they wanted to go up to BJ's room and party later tonight. Next to the pretzel stand, they also have a Dunkin Donuts booth! I spotted the WPT camera crew doing a few promos with Courtney Friel. I chatted for a few minutes with Barry Greenstein. He wanted to know a little bit more about the EPT.

5:15pm... Recent Eliminations (courtesy of Poker Wire): Allen Cunningham, Minh Nguyen, Mickey Appleman, JC Tran, Farzad Bonyadi, and Jean-Robert Bellande.

6:08pm... Alan Goehring has been knocked out. Players are on a dinner break until 7pm. 11 tables are left or about 110 players. Luke Chung is our chipleader with about $440K. Time for me to do my football pool picks!

7:09pm... Players are back from dinner break. Blinds are $800 and $1600 with $300 antes.

7:30pm... Bouncin Round the Room: I went downstairs to the Italian deli and I just devouvered one kick ass cannoli. The room is quiet right now, which is odd after a dinner break. Usually players losen up and there a lot of all ins. Steve Zolotow and Blair Rodman are out. However, Kathy Liebert, Josh Arieh, Erick Lindgren, Surinder Sunar, Layne Flack, Kristy Gazes, Clonie Gowen, John D'Agostino, Steve Dannemann, Evelyn Ng, Ted Lawson, Barry Greenstein, Mike Matusow, Tex Barch, Russell Rosenblum, and David Singer are still alive. I just had a quick conversation with Andy Bloch. He suggested that they go to 9 handed tables to speed up the action, even 7 or 8 handed. That way, it forces players to play more hands and the tourneys don't last forever.

7:50pm... Russell Rosenbloom has been eliminated.

8:00pm... I posted pics of me annoucning the final table in Barcelona over at the Tao of Pauly. Take a peek!

8:05pm... We're down to 10 tables. TJ Cloutier is standing in front of us near media row. I wonder if he was playing craps earlier?

8:30pm... Syracuse Chris has been busted out.

8:35pm... How about some more pics?


The remaining players


Evelyn Ng


John D'Agastino
8:50pm... Bouncin Round the Room: It's been a long time since I did this installment! Back by popular demand...

Last 5 Pros I Took a Piss Next to:
1. Erick Lindgren
2. Josh Arieh
3. Steve Dannemann
4. Tex Barch
5. Andy Bloch

9:12pm... Kristy Gazes was busted by David the Dragon Pham. Bill Gazes was also eliminated.

9:25pm... Layne Flack has been eliminated.

10:59pm... I just got busted from the Titan tourney. Derek had his A-A cracked. Ouch.

11:08pm... We're down to 72 players. Franklin Caldwell is the chipleader.

11:30pm... Quote of the Day (courtesy of Jen from Poker Wire): "Of course I knew what a blowjob was, I was in junior high school for God's sake!"

12:17am... Action has completed for Day 2. There are about 62 players remaining. Mike Matusow and John D'Agastino are among the top chip leaders. Franklin Caldell is the chipleader. There were some other notable players still left including Clonie Gowen, Kathy Liebert, Evelyn Ng, Tex Barch, Josh Arieh, Erick Lindgren, David Pham, JC Tran, Barry Greenstien, David SInger, Steve Dannemann, and Chris Grigorian. Play will resume at 11am on Wednesday. Tomorrow we'll play all the way down to 6. So we'll have two bubbles... the money bubble and the TV bubble.

 

 

 

New WPBT Tournament Tonight!

Just a reminder... Iggy set up a new WPBT tournament for us on my birthday of all days. Everyone's been bitching all summer long about having another blogger tournament, so where is everyone? There were only 17 people signed up so far. That's not impressive numbers.
What's the deal? Iggy worked pretty damn hard to set this up and I'm skipping out on work coverign the WPT just to play.

So what's your excuse? Sign up and fund your Titan Poker account now! If you don't like Titan, then tough shit. I'd prefer to play on Poker Stars or Full Tilt but if we do, that means some of our closest friends cannot play in the WPBT events because they work for those online sites. Titan is the best alternative.

I'll be running up a Hilton Sisters Challenge during the tournament, if that's incentive for you to play. If you crack A-A with Q-Q, I'll give you an autographed copy of one of my novels and I'll throw in a $10 gift certificate to Blockbuster.

Sign up today. Don't wait until the last minute!

What: WPBT No Limi Tournament
Where: Titan Poker
When: Tuesday, September 20th at 9pm ET
Buy-in: $20 + 1
Password: thehamma

This event is open to everyone... bloggers and readers!

Some Pics

I posted a few pics over at the Tao of Pauly including one of Gus Hansen sleeping on a table. Go see for yourself.

New WPBT Tournament on Tuesday

Just a reminder... Iggy set up a new WPBT tournament for us, on my birthday of all days. And yes, I'll be running up a Hilton Sisters Challenge during the tournament! If you crack A-A with Q-Q, I'll give you an autographed copy of one of my novels and I'll throw in a $10 gift certificate to Blockbuster.

Sign up today. Don't wait until the last minute!

What: WPBT Tournament
Where: Titan Poker
When: Tuesday, September 20th at 9pm ET
Buy-in: $20 + 1
Format: No Limit
Dress Code: Pants are optional
Password: thehamma

I'll be in Atlantic City covering the WPT Borgata Open on Tuesday, but I will sneak off to play in this event. See you there!

Yeah, I leave Spain in less than twelve hours and I'm pretty sad to go. I must say that I kinda like it here... a lot. Man, if I didn't have the Borgata Open and the Boatyard Bash, I'd stay here in Europe for a few more weeks. Did I happen to mention how I'm slowly falling in love with Spanish women?

Anyway, I stayed up all night after I wrote until sun up. I wandered around Barcelona all morning taking a few pictures and thinking about everything that went down this past week. I decided that I am the Forrest Gump of the poker bloggers. I'm the luckiest person I know. I'm just a dumb ass who somehow gets fortunate time after time.

While I was announcing the final table last night, I had one of those moments... how the hell did I get here?

One year ago just a few days shy of my 32nd birthday, I was broke, losing my hair, kicked out of my studio and without a place to live, and unemployed (unless you count playing Party Poker as a job). You all know what's happened to me since then. Un-fuckin-believable.

Stupid is, stupid does.

Next stop... New York City.

The Barcelona Open - Day 2

Well, I'm back at the Casino de Barcelona for the second and final day of action on the EPT. It seems like I only left here a few hours ago! I'm pretty excited. The bubble time is always fun. And today we have two bubbles... the money bubble and the TV bubble.

As the conclusion of my first EPT event is underway, I must say that I was impressed with how everything was set up. Sure, they weren't prepared that so many people would want to play, but overall everything was very professional. If it wasn't so damn expensive to travel through Europe, I'd love to be on the road follwoing the EPT on every destination. Alas, I have other obligations and tournaments to cover over the remainder of this year. But I'll be back in 2006 to cover at least one or two EPT events.

It's raining in Spain today. I didn't think it rained in Spain. Oh well. Last night it was pouring when I left around 5am. I caught a cab with Howard from Poker Stars and Brandon Schaefer. In order to catch a cab, we had to fight off a crowd of drunks who were kicked out of the casino. Yeah, casinos are not 24 hours here.

This afternoon, I ate lunch at the mall next to the Princess Hotel. Man, it was jam packed with hot women on a Saturday afternoon. Talk about leaps and bounds from the skinny toothless crack whores who roamed the hallways at the Redneck Riviera.

Moving on...

44 players are left. Here's an unofficial chip count courtesy of TK from Blonde Poker. The Great Dane appears to be the chip leader.

Gus Hansen 219.2k
Mika Puro 207k
Anders Gidgon 205.8k
Peter Gunnarson 192.8k
Nicholas Martin 173.9k
Feriould Romain 167.5k
Jan Slavik 103.9k
Luca Pagano 101.2k
Peter Ohlson 96.9k
Mike Luumi (?) 94.6k
Joachim Geigert 92.7k
AnbJorn Hagd (?) 87.5k
Kirill Gerasimov 85.1k
Richard Redmond 83k
Carlos Mortensen 73.4k
Jemil Butt 70.5k
Bueno Patrick 67.9k
Dario Alioto 64.5k
Patrick ?? 62.8k
Richard Ashby 62.6k
Fougeron Thomas 62k
Jan Boubli 61.6k
Greek Jack Dionysiou 60.1k
Christer Johannson 56.7k
Ben Callinan 50.5k
Alex Bowler 49.8k
Eskillon Hans 49.4k
Thomas Gunderson 49.1k
Ranigal Simms 45.2k
Iwan Jones 43.1k
Robert Binellii 42.7k
Richard Baldwin 42.7k
Patrick Martenson 39k
Luke Smith 37.7k
Anton Berstromm 37k
Hakon Warstead (?) 36.3k
Michael Zasdenberg 34.6k
Michael English 30.8k
Steve Day 28.7k
"Smokin" Steve Vladar 26.1k
Richard White 20.2k
Edik 19.8k
Liam Flood 18.3k

I will be posting the payouts as soon as they are relased. Stay tuned for some live blogging updates! And there's a small chance that I will be doing some annoucning/emcee'ing today. Action was supposed to resume at 3:30pm local time, but that's a few minutes away and it looks like that's not going to happen.

***** Live Blogging Updates *****

3:37pm... Cards are in the air! Blinds are 3000/6000 antes are 600. 43 players are starting Day 2. They are not taping anything until the final table, so my short-lived European TV career has come to an end. David Hasselhoff can breathe a sigh of relief. Although, I hear I'm huge in Belgium. (I love that "line" from the 1990s flick Singles when Matt Dillon played the stoner lead singer of Citizen Dick, which also included actual members from Pearl Jam, and he told a music reporter that his band was big in Europe.)

3:44pm... Here are the payouts. Top 27 pay. EPT final TV tables are 8 handed.

Final Table Payouts:
1. 416,000 Euros
2. 228,000 Euros
3. 117,000 Euros
4. 91,000 Euros
5. 78,000 Euros
6. 65,000 Euros
7. 52,000 Euros
8. 39,000 Euros

And the rest:
9. 26,000 Euros
10-12th 15,600 Euros
13-15th 13,000 Euros
16-18th 10,400 Euros
19-27th 7,800 Euros

3:55pm... We have a writer's pool going on the time the final table will end. Here's who has who:

Matt from Gutshot 12:45am
TK from Blonde Poker 3:15am
Howard from Poker Stars 2:30am
Tom from Antes Up 2:31am
Pauly 4:00am

4:00pm... Here are some random pics:


The final 5 tables


Media Row


Moving all in
4:20pm... I was having coffee with a few folks from Poker Stars and Isabelle Mercier sat down. I asked her about what she thought of the tournament structure at the EPT. The levels are 45 minutes and she said they were too short.

4:35pm... We're down to 29 players!

5:01pm... We've reached the bubble. 28 players are left. Gus Hansen's stack is now almost 290K.

5:08pm... Former WSOP champion Carlos Mortensen bubbled out in 28th place when his 10-8 ran into A-J. All remaining players made the money and will win at least $7800 Euros.

5:10pm... The best name at this year's EPT has to be Jemil Butt from Norway.

5:13pm... Players are on a ten minute break while the player's color up. I spoke to Christer Johansen for a few seconds. He started the day with 47K and now he has over 137K. He was involved in the huge hand yesterday when his A-A held up against Gus Hansen's A-7s (Gus flopped a nut flush draw and a gutshot straight draw) and the wild Finnish kid Ilari's Hilton Sisters.

5:25pm... Blinds are 5K/10K with 1K antes. 27 players remaining.

5:35pm... I can't keep up. Everyone is going all in right now. Richard Ashby from England was just elimnated in 25th place when his Hilton Sisters were cracked by J-J. 24 players are left. Mike Luumi took 27th and Peter Ohlson busted out in 26th place. They all won $7,800 Euros.

5:45pm... Christer Johansen doubled up. He now has almost 300K.

6:00pm... I spoke to John Duthie, creator of the EPT and he said some positive things about my annoucing stint yesterday. "It's good to hear an American voice do poker. It's proper." His feelings were echoed by one of the guys in the "truck." He explained, "When you hear a documentary, you expect to hear a British voice. With poker, it's natural to hear an American voice. It sounds right." Maybe I can parlay this into a gig! Ah, probably not. They were all being nice. I'm glad I didn't fuck up as a pinch hitter.

6:11pm... Were down to 21 players. Thomas Gundersen finsihed in 23rd and Ben Calliman took 22nd. They both won $7,800 Euros.

6:20pm... We're down to 20. Luca Pagano was eliminated when his K-J ran into K-Q. Who say's the Kournikova doesn't win? Gus Hansen is over 400K now. Gus with chips is a dangerous thing.

6:45pm... I had a quick bite to eat at the bar with Tom Murphy. We had a great discussion on the different styles of play from the different Europeans as compared to how Americans play. It could become great material for a future article. In short, the Scandanvians/Nordic countries are hyper-aggressive. And most Europeans think Americans play too tight.

7:00pm... We're down to 12 players. Gus Hansen has over 700K in chips right now. Andreas Hagen was 19th, Richard Redmond took 18th, Joakim Geigert busted out in 17th, Peter Gunnarsson was 16th, Nicolas Martin finished in 15th, Iwan Jones busted out in 14th, and Thomas Fougerou was out in 13th.

7:35pm... We're down to 9 players. Michel Zajdenberg was out in 12th, Patrick Bueno took 11th and Jemil Butt busted out in 10th place. We've reached the TV table bubble!

8:00pm... We're down to 8 players when Mika Puro was knocked out in 9th place. Everyone is on a dinner break while they set up the TV table. Action will resume at 9:15. Here's who's left: Gus Hansen, Patrick Martensson, Jan Boubli, Romain Feriolo, Christer Johansson, Patrick Antonius, Anotn Bergstrom, and Dario Alioto.

9:55pm... After a huge delay, the final table is ready to begin. Cards are in the air! Here's who made it:

Seat 1: Gus Hansen (Coppenhagen, Denmark) $743K
Seat 2: Patrick Martensson (Stockholm, Sweden) $281K
Seat 3: Jan Boubli (France) $292K
Seat 4: Romain Feriolo (Marabella, Spain) $282K
Seat 5: Christer Johansson (Holliken, Sweden) $885K = Chipleader
Seat 6: Patrick Antonius (Helsinki, Finland) $331K
Seat 7: Anotn Bergstrom (Lund, Sweden) $338,500
Seat 8: Dario Alioto (Palermo, Italy) $87,500

Seat 1: Gus Hansen (Denmark) 3 time WPT Champion


Seat 2: Patrick Mortensson (Sweden)


Seat 3: Jan Boulbi (France)


Seat 4: Romain Feriolo (Spain)


Seat 5: Christer Johansson (Sweden)


Seat 6: Patrik Antonius (Finland)


Seat 7: Anton "Doogie Howser" Bergstroem (Sweden)


Seat 8: Dario Alioto (Italy)

10:15pm... We have our first elimination from the final table. Romain Feriolo was knocked out in 8th place by Christer Johansson. On a flop of K-10-9, Feriolo moved all in with 10-2. Johansson called with 10-9 and he turned a full house. Romain Feriolo won $39,000 Euros for 8th place.

10:33pm... Holy shit!!! John Duthie asked me if I could announce the final table for a level or two later on tonight to give Thomas Kresmer a breather.

10:40pm... Dario Alioto was shortstacked and moved all in with KQ. Patrik Anontious called with A-10 and it held up. Dario Alioto was eliminated in 7th place. He won 52,000 Euros.

11:11pm... Gus Hansen had been getting beat up by the three Swedes at the table. he lost a lot of his stack to them. He moved all in with A-8 versus Patrik Antonius's pocket threes. He caught his ace and doubled up.

11:13pm... Anton Bergstrom was knocked out in 6th place by Gus Hansen. Anton had Q-10 and Gus had A-4. Gus caught trip 4s and Anton was eliminated. He won $65,000 Eruos for 6th place.

1:30am... I'm back after annoucning the final table for the last two plus hours. We're down too three players. Christer Johanssen is the cipleader. Jan Boulbli is second and Patrik Antonious is last in chips. I need a stiff drink after the two most stressful hours of my life and collect myself. Be back in a few minutes after I get my shit together.

1:48pm... OK, here's the run down so far. Gus Hansen lost a big pot with Ks-7s to Patrick Mortensson's A-Q. Patrick Mortensson was the short stack and moved all in. Gus called. Both players caught a runner runner straight but Patrick's was higher. I incorrectly called the hand and announced that Gus won to the crowd. Gus corrected me and said that he lost. I thought he was pissed at me, but I just spoke to him and he was cool with that. Gus Hansen's stack took a big hit. He eventually was eliminated in 5th place when his Ks-Qs lost to Jan Boulbi's J-J. Gus Hansen won $78,000 for fifth place.

In the battle of the Patricks... Patrick Mortensson was eliminated in 4th place when his 8-8 ran into Patrik Antonious' Q-Q. The young Patrick Mortensson won $91,000.

Patrik Antonious was eliminated in 3rd place when he missed a flush draw with Ks-3s on a board with As-4s-Ah. Jan Boubli flopped two pair with 3h-4h and it held up when Patrik failed to catch his flush. Patrik Antonious won $117,000 for third place.

2:15am... We have a new champion. Jan Boubli from France won the Barcelona Open! With K-Q he caught a Queen on the river to beat Christer Johansson's As-2s. Christer flopped two pair on a board of 8-2-8. Bother players got their money all in on the flop. The turn was a rag and the river gave Jan Boubli the win. Christer Johansson won $228,000 Euros for second place. Jan Boubli won $416,000 Euros for first place and a seat to the EPT Grand Finale in Monte Carlo in March of 2006.


Jan celebrates his victory


Jan Boubli the 2005 Barcelona Open Champion


Jan's check


I was filling in for Thomas Kresmer
That's it for now. See ya in Atlantic City in a few days where I'll be covering the World Poker Tour and the Borgata Open.

The Barcelona Open - Day 1

Yesterday, I bumped into Marcel Luske getting out of the elevator. He's staying in my hotel, the Barcelona Princess. Last night, I headed over to the Casino de Barcelona to survey the scene. You need to show your passport to get into the casino. You also have to pay. I got in for free because I'm with the media and help from the Poker Stars crew. I must say that everyone at Poker Stars has been extremely accomodating to me. They really made life easier in Spain and are allowing me unfettered access to everything. So thanks to Mad, Tamar, Marta, Conrad, Howard, and everyone else I forgot to mention at Poker Stars. Yeah, even Otis too!

The poker room is located downstairs and they had 25 tables spread out. They were setting up the "TV table and stage" while a satellite for today's event was ongoing. The relatively small room was super crowded. I spotted Mike "Lucky Blind" Lacey who was trying to win a seat in today's $4000 Euro main event which begins at 4pm local time or 10am New York City time. His buddy Tom Murphy was around as well. They will be providing coverage of the EPT for their Irish readers over at Antes Up. I met both guys at the WSOP. The Irish guys are always buying me beers at a faster pace than I can drink them. Lacey continued this tradition on one of his breaks. Yeah, there's a bar like five feet from the poker room. I spent a lot of time there getting to know my good friend... Senor Cerveza.

I also chatted with John Gale for a little bit. He's a good guy and will be playing a mixture of EPT and WPT events during the remainder of the year.

Otis told me that I needed to hang out with Brandon Schaefer. He's the best player under 26 that you never heard of. He was the runner up in the Grand Finale at Monte Carlo last year and he also won another event on the EPT. He's a cool guy too. He got even more respect from me because when I introduced myself he said, "Man, I love your blog." Yeah he's reads the Tao of Poker. Pretty cool. I ended up having dinner with him and several members from team Poker Stars, including Mad.

For lunch today, I got to crash the Poker Stars luncheon for their players. On a big screen in the center of the room, they showed clips from last year's EPT Barcelona event, which was cool because I never saw any of the episodes. Brandon told me that most of the episodes from Season 1 are available for download at bit torrent. I also got to eat another meal with Brandon and two of his friends from Seattle. It's hard not to root for such a nice guy.

Conrad spoke for a little bit and he even introduced me as a reputable member of the American media. He's obviously never read any of my clips. Ha! I've been eating fish at every meal since I arrived in Spain and lunch was no different. I also got to catch a glimpse of the stunning Caroline Flack, who is the hostess for the EPT. She's the Shana Hiatt of the EPT and was conducting random player interviews during the luncheon.



Any pictures and live blogging updates will appear below.

***** Live Blogging Updates *****

2:45pm... There was only one snafu I encountered at the Casino. There was no wifi access near the poker room. Tom Murphy said that you can get a faint signal if you sit outside the disco on the other side of the bottom floor. So that means I don't think I can do a ton of live blogging like I anticipated. If the connection problems clear themselves up, you can expect frequent updates and photos. If not, you can always follow Howard who will be blogging for Poker Stars in place of Otis for this event.

3:25pm... Wifi access problem has been solved! I rode over to the venue on the shuttle bus with Dan Roth, an American qualifier from Seattle, and Isabelle Mercier. I chatted with both for a bit. I spotted Tony G, Barny Boatman, Marcel Luske, and Gus Hansen waiting in line to get into the Casino.

3:45pm... Guess what? Tamar from Poker Stars asked me to emcee the TV table today. I will be taking turns with tournament director Thomas Kremser and Howard from Poker Stars. We'll be alternating levels. I have no idea what I'm doing, but it should be fun. Basically, I'll be doing my best Johnny Grooms imitation announcing raises and all ins on the TV table. I highly doubt that I will be on the broadcast because they usually cut those bits out. So I'll be doing some live blogging in between. Good thing I'm only midly hungover today.

4:20pm... The tournament was scheduled to start at 4pm. We're running late and will begin at 4:35pm. I'll be starting my announcing duties at the beginning of level 2.

4:48pm... Cards will be in the air shortly.

5:00pm... Blinds are $25/50 to start with 45 minute levels. 294 players are in with a waiting list of 90 players deep. First place should pay well over $400,000 Euros. Last year 227 players enetered the first ever EPT event in Barcelona. Play will begin shortly. On the feature table is Brandon Schaefer, Gus Hansen, Pascal Perrault, and Daniel Larrson.

5:05pm... Cards are in the air!

5:17pm... On the feature table, Gus Hansen's A-A held up against Daniel Murelius' K-K.

5:41pm... 8 minutes until show time for me. I hope I dont royaly screw up!

6:41pm... Well I'm back. I announced level two of the featured TV table and I was super nervous. Here's who was there:

Seat 1: Pascal Perrault
Seat 2: Christer Johansen
Seat 3: Theo Jorgenson
Seat 4: Frederick Ostervald
Seat 5: Peter Eichardt
Seat 6: Gus Hansen
Seat 7: Daniel Larrson (and later... David O'Callahan)
Seat 8: Brandon Schaefer
Seat 9: Ilari Shames

So I tried to act calm, but I wasn't. Before this all went down, I went to the production truck and talked to one of the producers and directors. The production crew is all British. They were pretty cool and gave me some guidelines. Again, I have no clue what I'm doing and only pitched in because I was asked by Tamar from Poker Stars since the normal TD is overwhelmed with the huge turnout at this event. The PA was a nice gal named Francine and she told me not to worry. When I finsihed she said that everyone in the truck thought I did a good job. Oh the best thing out of all of this... I got to wear a Poker Stars shirt. I think I get to keep it too.

Anyway... it was awesome to watch Brandon play. I was going to sweat him at some point today anyway and he was surprised to see me up at the TV table with a microphone in my hand. I watched Gus Hansen hit quad queens. He cracked Daniel Larrson's pocket aces. Gus raised preflop and Daniel reraised. Gus called. The flop had one Queen. Gus bet, Daniel raised, and Gus called. The turn was a Queen. Gus checked and Daniel checked. On the river another Queen fell. Gus bet $4000 which covered Daniel, who called. Gus showed Qd-8d for four of a kind which beat Daniel's A-A. I put Gus on a Queen too after I saw his hand shaking when he went to count out his chips. He joked afterwards, "It was hard to get away from flopping top pair."

It's one thing to cover tournaments from media row or the sidelines. It's a whole other world be that up close and watching several top notch players go at it.

9:12pm... I'm on a dinner break. Half the field goes on dinner break while the other half plays. Anyway... Brandon Schaefer has about 11K in chips. We chatted at dinner. He's waiting for good hands. I got some positive criticism from the roducers about my announcing skills. They wanted me to give more information on the sizes of the pots. Counting up chips is harder than I expected!

9:40pm... Marcel Luske told me he has $13K in chips. Peter Roche has about 17K.

11:00pm... I just announced for a third time. The blinds are now 200/400 with 50 antes. Gus Hansen has $46K. Brandon Schaefer has $9K. Dan Roth has about $15K the last time I checked.

11:05pm... 324 players bought into this event. Top 27 players will make the money and $416,000 Eruos goes to the winner. This event has the most entrants of any EPT event.

11:11pm... Here are some random photos. I'm no where close to being as good as Flipchip, but here's my best efforts.


David O'Callahan (left) and Brandon Schaefer


American Dan Roth (center)


Isabelle's eyes wander


Marcel Luske's peeks at the flop

11:12pm... The guys at Gutshot told me some news about Isabelle Merceir. She was short stacked and moved all in with A-5. She flopped two pair and tripled up. She has about $7K plus now.

11:21pm... Bouncin Round the Room: It's been a long time since I did one of these updates. Here's the deal. People smoke everywhere in Europe. The small downstairs floor of the Casino de Barcelona sits under a thick veil of second hand smoke. Since it's Friday night, there are people here at the casino who are dressed up in their most fancy clothes. The men are wearing tuxes and expensive suits and the ladies are wearing stunning cocktail dresses. Damn. Hot. European. Chicks. Aye Carumba! And some of them have seen me announce the TV table. Media row is underneath the grand staircase. I'm sitting at a table with Howard from Poker Stars (when he's not announcing the TV table), the Brits from Gutshot, and the Irish guys from Antes Up. Rolf Stolbloom is in the corner too. Tom Murphy agreed to buy us a round of drinks in media row. There is open seating for $10/20 Hold'em. It's in Euros and that's the lowest limit they have.

11:31pm... Brandon Schaefer was eliminated. He had 7-7 and was heads up with Gus Hansen. The flop was 10-3-2. Gus checked and Brandon bet. Gus check raised and essentially put Brandon all in. Brandon reluctantly called and Gus hsowd J-10. Damn. Brandon played well all day and night. He endured a difficult table including Gus Hansen to his right and some Finnish kid Ilari Sahamies to his right, who was raising every pot.

11:35pm... I heard that Devilfish is out.

12:40am... Isabelle Mercier is out. Her K-K lost to 9-9 when her opponent caught a four flush on her. Dan Roth has about 22K. 163 players are remaining.

12:44am... I just completed my level of announcing. The levels were 300/600 with 100 antes. Christer Johansen tripled up with A-A against Gus Hansen's Ad-7d and the Finnish wunderkid Ilari Sahamies's Q-Q. Gus flopped a nut flush draw and gutshot straight draw. However, Christer's A-A held up and he tripled up his stack. Ilari was eliminated and Gus Hansen lost a big chunk of his stack.

2:00am... My European TV career is over for the time being. The TV table will no longer be taped, so I am free to drink at the bar with the Irish guys. The TD made a decision to end pla at 4:30am and resume tomorrow at 3:30pm and play it out then. 108 players are left.

2:10am.... Dan Roth has about 50K in chips!

2:30am... Marcel Luske, Noah Boeken, Tony G, and Barny Boatman have all been eliminated. 90 players left according to Mike "Lucky Blind" Lacey. Carlos Mortensen, Liam Flood, and Gus Hansen are still in.

3:00am... Bouncin Round the Room: I headed to the bar about thirty feet from where I'm sitting in media row for a few late night cocktails. Service is awful in Europe but the drinks are cheap. Three beers cost $7.50 Euros. I saw producer for the EPT TV series. He told me I did an excellent job and might need my services again tomorrow if the TD is still busy since there will be another event tomorrow starting. By the way, both production assistants are cute British chicks. And they are both blondes. They both told me I did a great job. Alas, I can't tell if they are being honest or doing that polite British things.

3:30am... 64 players remaining on 7 tables. American Dan Roth is still in the mix.

4:20am... 46 players remaining. Action will end in 10 minutes. Then I get to stay up until dawn writing recaps!

4:30am... Play has been stopped. 44 players remain. Action will resume at 3:30pm local time. That's 9:30am NYC time or 7:30am Las Vegas time. By this time tomorrow, I hope that we will have a new EPT champion!

New WPBT Tournament on Sept 20th!

Are you guys ready? Iggy set up a new tournament for us, on mybirthday of all days. And yes, I'll be setting up a Hilton Sisters Challenge during the tournament!

What: WPBT Tournament
Where: Titan Poker
When: Tuesday, September 20th at 9pm ET
Buy-in: $20 + 1
Format: No Limit
Dress Code: Pants are optional
Password: thehamma

I'll be in Atlantic City covering the WPT Borgata Open, but I will sneak off to play in his event. See you there!

Welcome to Spain

Hola folks. I arrived in Barcelona yesterday via KLM around 7pm local time and was greeted by Mad. She's British and was Otis' assistant at the WSOP and we got along great in Las Vegas. She lives in Sitges, a tiny coastal town about 30 minutes South of Barcelona. She agreed to let me crash at her flat on my first and last nights in Spain if I let her read two of my novels Jack Tripper Stole My Dog and Sweet Nothing. I brought two manuscripts with me and Mad was delighted to have them both. For now, I'm crashing in Sitges and that town is amazing. A lot of people who live in Barcelona have holiday and summer homes in the resort town of Sitges.

On the way from the airport to Sitges, Mad pointed out all the hookers who lined up on the highway! She noted that was excellent fodder for my blog. Some of the prostitutes actually have a lounge chair and a few have umbrellas to protect them from the sun. It's well know that the hookers are populating that stretch of highway. A quick glance insured me that the Spanish hookers are way better looking than the Amsterdam hookers.

I got wicked wasted again last night and I'm hungover for the third consecutive day. I drank red wine, Mojitas, and beer. Mixing wine, liquor, and beer will do horrible and dreadful things to your head and stomach. I also have another story which I cannot blog here. Shit, I got at least a dozen stories so far that I can and will never blog about. You'll have to wait to read the novel.

Mad introduced me to her friends. Most of them were Brits living here, some were Americans. Everyone was laid back and extremely welcoming. I also met a slew of hot Spanish girls thanks to Mad. She introduced me as a famous American writer. They give you a double kiss when they meet you, even if it's the first time. A few of them laughed as I tried to extend my right hand to shake hands. I looked like a total dork.

We played pool and drank Mojitas at a nice place called Magma. By the way, Spanish rules at pool are much different from what I'm used to. Slop counts and you have to sink the 8 ball in the opposite corner of the last ball you knocked in. I know, it's weird. I thought maybe they were trying to hustle me. They just had odd rules. By the way, Mad is a pool shark. She's got skills at the table.

Mad was giving me shit because I was gawking at one woman in particular. She was blonde and she happened to be an American ex-pat. Alas, I told Mad that I was gawking at all the women in that bar, not just her. Sitges is known to have a high gay population. When we walked down one street in particular, Tamar joked that all the guys were ignoring her and Mad and were all checking me out instead. Even though my package is designated for the ladies only, it's always flattering to have anyone check out my crotch.

We ate dinner at a nice place. I had sea bass and drank wine. We hit up two different bars in Sitges. So far, my Spain experience has been amazing. We stumbled home after 2am and had to get up early to go catch a train to Barcelona.

The train cost a little more than 2 Euros. It sped along the coast and I caught magnificent views of the Mediterranean Sea. The sun sparkled off the water and although I was hungover pretty good, I had one of those moments you get sometimes when you are a long way from home. I couldn't believe what I was getting to see and do. Not so fond memories of all those weeks, months, and years of struggling as a writer came to the front of my mind. Gazing out to sea I reminded myself to enjoy every waking second I'm here.

We caught a cab from the train station to the Princess Hotel. I got to see a little bit of the city and from what I saw it's magnificent. From my room in the hotel, I can see the water a few blocks away. The pool is two floors down but no topless sun bathers so far.

The $4,000 Euro buy-in Barcelona Open begins tomorrow at the Casino de Barcelona. So tonight, I have nothing to do. I expect to catch up on some reading and writing. Man, I have so much to write down. I'll wander around the city and get lost which I like doing. That's how you discover stuff most normal tourists don't get to see.

I have run into two somewhat serious problems here in Europe. The first one is the hardest. My ATM card won't work! I usually take cash with me but for some reason, I only took a few hundred Euros and luckily I have some of my bankroll with me which I converted that to Euros. The exchange rate killed me and I'm now on a tight budget the rest of the trip. That's probably a good thing. Me running rampant through Barcelona with a wad of Euros is -EV.

The second problem is that I fucked up and didn't bring the correct USB cable that connects to the camera Flipchip gave me. I have several hundred pics that I cannot upload! That particular plug is about half the size of the one my digital camera uses. So for now, I only have a handful of pics that I took with my small camera. All the good pics are in limbo. I'm going to try to find a small plug today. Otherwise, I really fucked up badly. I'm kinda miffed at myself. I made a checklist and I thought I took the correct plug.

That's it for now. Have to go write and look for a USB plug. More to come.

Here are some random pics from Amsterdam:


Random sign


Fat kids are funny in any language.

Fries with Dutch mayo


Vee-Dub along the canal near Holland Casino


I think it says, "No pissing!"


No comment

Amsterdam Part II

I left the windows open before I crashed. When we awoke, the room was filled with cool Amsterdam morning air. It was a cloudy day and you smell the rain coming. The previous two days have been sunny and pleasant. Today it's dark and chilly. The weather fits my mood on the day I'm about to leave.

I didn't think I was going to make it on Monday night. After one hour of sleep on my flight, I was exhausted. I almost passed out three times over the course of Monday evening. All three times we were back in the room, but at the last second, I'd rally and find that extra burst of energy to go back out. It's the energy. Amsterdam has plenty of it and it's the type of city that gets me fired up afterwards to go write.

When you cross the street, you have to look both ways and pay attention or you're gonna suffer a collision with one pissed off person who's gonna curse your ass out in Dutch. I almost got hit a bunch of times by a cyclist. I figured that once every hour I almost walk right in the path of a bike lane. Beware the bikers. They have right of way over cars. I'm a New Yorker and we jaywalk everywhere. I almost saw some Dutch suit bite it yesterday when he nearly walked into a tram and some random guy saved him.

Museums in Amsterdam are kick ass. I've been to both the Rijks and the Van Gogh before and it's always fascinating to return to see amazing art. A walk through the galleries is always inspiring. We ran through both fairly quickly. I took a crap load of pictures of church steeples and hot Dutch girls on bicycles. I know Daddy wanks off to both.

In Japan, you'd see these tiny Japanese school girls in their tiny outfits get onto the most crowded subways. They looked adorable. In Holland, the private high schoolgirls trip me out. They all wear funky outfits. One group wears a black jacket, white shirt, black tie, black knickers, and pink knee high socks. I did a double take when I saw a group of ten peddle right by me. When we walked around the other day, I spotted another group of high school girls. That outfit was just a white shirt, blue skirt, and blue and white striped knee high socks. The third group were signing in a circle in Vondel Park. They had regular clothes on, but for some reason they all wore an over garment that resembled a chekered red and white picnic table table cloth. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't know if immigration would be fond to find hundreds of shots of underaged Dutch girls on bicycles. I know Daddy likes to rub it out to those images.

Briana found a small pastry shop that sells kick ass croissants. They cost $0.80 Euros and I can eat three they are so tasty that they dissolve as soon as you bite into them. She went shopping yesterday. Amsterdam gets a bad rap for the hash bars and the hookers, but there's some pretty good shopping here. I'm oblivious. Usually, I'll go write or check email and Briana would go shopping. We wandered through the tulip bulb market along side one of the canals. Centuries ago, people used tulip bulbs as actual currency.

Spent more time in various cafes and hash bars and wandered back over to Vondel Park. We made more of an effort to talk to random people. We didn't want to say we were Americans, so we pretended that we were Canadians. I'd add, "eh?" to the end of my sentences and Briana said, "aboot" a lot. Ah, Europeans don't hate Americans as much as we think. They like us, they just hate our leaders. And the French hate everyone especially Lance Armstrong.

I ate fries with Dutch mayo. That stuff is better than ketchup. Miracle whip it is not.

Late night, I saw two Amsterdam bicycle cops pedal over to one guy walking down the street. When they yelled, "Hey, stop!" he should have darted through one of the alleys. He just stood there and tried to throw away a needle. One of the cops was a female and I realized that when some Europeans talk to one another, they use English as their common language. The junkie was Russian, as I noticed by his passport. The male cop detained him while the female cop made fun of the guy. "Do you think we are stupid? You did not even try to hide the needle."

The cops were laughing after their bust. Now you have to fuck up pretty hard core to get arrested in Amsterdam.

We tired to stay up very late and hit up various cafes, bars, and coffee shops. We played pool with a couple of Americans and I won about $50 Euros in different side bets. I was in much better shape on Tuesday and last until 6am while Briana passed out around 4am. I spent my last waking hours talking to drug dealers and drunk vagrants near Dam Square and the rest of the time writing. Most of the cafes and hash bars close at 1am.

Check out time is right about now and Briana has a train to Paris to catch and I have a few hours to kill before my train departs for Shipol Airport. I fly to Barcelona in a few hours. I was going to take the train to Barcelona, but the flight was cheaper.

It's time to go and it feels like I just got here. Man, I don't want to go either. I have that ill feeling I get in my stomach when I leave a place I really really like.

"Who says we can't move to Amsterdam?" was something Briana said as I sipped on my beer last night. It made sense to me.

I'd like to wander around the city some more and take photos, but it's raining. This break away from everything has been spectacular. No cellphones and no poker. But the poker hiatus is about to change...

Amsterdam Day 1

I first visited Amsterdam almost a decade ago with Senor. One of the first things I scribbled into my notebook was, "Amsterdam is like another planet."

I rank Amsterdam up there with other carefree cities like Las Vegas, Old New Orleans, San Francisco and even New York City to some extent. In these places, there's a high tolerance factor for freaks and the freaks know this. They come out of the woodwork from all over the world it seems, waving their flags high and proud. I guess that's why there are so many hookers and hash bars and weirdos roaming the streets of Amsterdam. Indeed, the Dutch and specifically Amsterdam is one of the most tolerant cities you can ever visit. Amsterdam is diverse with people from all over the world, not just Europe. Thank God that summer is over and the hordes of backpackers have trickled off.

My flight from JFK to Amsterdam was nothing special except that the flight attendants on KLM wear these turquoise uniforms. They are super polite. I sat next to two Dutch sisters. One was incredibly smoking while the other was not. KLM has TVs embedded into the seats, so you can watch from a huge selection of new and old movies. I watched Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy and Ocean's 11. I started watching The Godfather, but fell asleep. I wish I slept more, but I only passed out the last hour of my six and a half hour flight.

I arrived early just after Noon and hopped on a train to Central Station for $4 Euros. Briana booked a room at the Victoria Hotel. Talk about the complete opposite of the Flying Pig hostel. The swanky Victoria is the nicest hotel in Amsterdam and is located a few steps outside of Central Station. You can't miss it. Briana was standing out front waiting for me and my eyes nearly melted because I had not seen her in so long. She arrived the night before via Paris. She looked stunning. The two biggest changes... her hair is much shorter and she chain smokes like a champ.

We hadn't seen each other in a few months and aside from a few phonecalls (and one lengthy letter from Briana), we gave each other space and distance and freedom to do what we both had to do this summer. Over the next 24 hours we'd take turns visiting different cafes and hash bars. We'd alternate telling stories about this summer. I told Briana all about the Redneck Riviera, working with the Poker Prof, Flipchip's Vietnam stories, drinking during dinners at the Hooker Bar at the Rio with Otis and Amy Calistri, and playing poker in Las Vegas with Grubby. Briana's summer was relatively boring compared to mine. She smoked and read constantly and managed to finish a decent sized manuscript. Our favorite malcontent elevator button heiress penned a novel. She said that I inspired her. I read a few pages on the shitter this morning. It's interesting, kind of like The Bell Jar meets The Devil Wears Prada. The girl has potential.

She's been living in France since May and told me that the French found someone they hate more than George Bush.... and that's Lance Armstrong.

Yesterday we rented bikes and rode all over the city. Amsterdam is bicycle crazy. Nothing is hotter than seeing a smoking hot chick riding a bicycle. And they are everywhere. Everyone rides bikes. Businessmen, kids, old ladies, and hot chicks. Late at night, people still ride bicycles with cool head lights. Occasionally, you'll see one very drunk guy peddling home after too many beers at the pub. Late night, every few minutes or so, someone drunk cycles by screaming.

We spent some time in Vondel Park. I was content to be able to sit and enjoy life in a park. It's one of those moments when you feel the luck rushing through your veins. I listened to one of the best pieces of live music ever... the Grateful Dead's 5.8.77. (The few of you Deadheads know how sensational that show is!) Yeah I fired up 5.8.77 and watched Briana take a nap on the grass in the warm Netherlands afternoon sun.

Here's an actual conversation that happened around 3 o'clock yesterday:

Briana: Take me to go see the hookers.
Pauly: It's in the middle of the day. Only old hookers work the day shift.
Briana: Then let's go see the old hookers. I'm sure they have great stories to tell.

No one weaves a better tale than an old hooker. To hell with Hemingway. If he chugged 50,000 cocks in his day, I'm sure his writing would have a slight edge to it. If anything, it could become a new book idea... Existentialist Conversations with Hookers.

Briana walked away from the Red Light district a little depressed. Like many people she had a romanticized image of the world's oldest profession. She felt sorry for the old whores. In the highest trafficked area, you will see old and ugly hookers. They have been turning tricks since the Carter administration. The better looking ones are on the side streets and you have to navigate the narrow alleys and follwing the aroma of cheap sex in the air to find the doorways with the girls. And for $50 Euros, they can be yours for 15 minutes. It's weird to see a group of Japanese old ladies walk through soaking in the scene. You see scummy looking guys walking around the same block several times, circling for an available hooker.

The girls stand inside these rooms with glass doors. Most of them are wearing their underwear or other lingerie. Some of them try to get your attention and they knock on the window. Other's will wink at you or blow kisses. Some will actually touch themselves. On the day shift, I spotted several girls yapping on their cellphones. One was reading the paper. Another was watching TV. No matter what, do not take pictures of them.

Briana and I estimated that a prostitute there averages 2,500 Johns a year. That's $125K Euros a year after taxes and fees to rent the space. But even if they are clearing $60K a year, that's almost twice as much as teachers in NYC make. What does this say about us? Seriously, 2,500 tricks a year? That's gotta start to hurt after a while?

We spent the late night sitting in a few cafes drinking beers near Dam Square. I found one bar that I've been to in the past with Senor. They had drafts for $1.90. We'd sit around and play "Guess what country I'm from?" For $20 a pop, we'd pick out a person or group and try to guess their country of origin. Americans are the easiest to spot. I got killed. I dropped about $200 Euros in that -EV game for me. Briana's been living in Europe for almost four months so she has home field advantage. I'm already down bigtime gambling in Europe and I haven't even set foot into a casino.

Anyway, I don't have too much time. We're fixing to see a few museums today and take photos. I leave for Barcelona tomorrow.

*****

By the way, congrats on my brother Derek, who finished in 5th place (not 4th as I previously reported) in the Poker Stars Hurricane Katrina charity tourney! I also heard Wil took 10th and Helix finsihed in 14th. Congrats guys.

The Day Before

I've been writing, partying, and traveling all of my life to prepare for the next two weeks. I'm leaving for Europe in a few hours. I'll be in Amsterdam until Wednesday morning and then I fly to Barcelona to cover the first event (the Barcelona Open) on this year's European Poker Tour. I have never been to Barcelona before and that adds to the excitement of this trip. Plus I get to see a lot of European media and press (and players) whom I worked with during my stint in Las Vegas covering the EPT like the Irish guys from Antes Up... Mike Lucky Blind Lacey and Tom Murphy and the crew from Blonde Poker. Not too mention the folks I met through Otis at Poker Stars, especially his lovely asistant Mad, who lives just outside of Barcelona. She offered to let me crash at her flat before the event begins and I move into the swanky Princess Hotel.

Amsterdam is a city where I've wrecked havoc in the past. I always like going back. My time there will be dedicated to rest and relaxation, oh and I get to see Briana for the first time in four months. I even got a haircut. I'm assuming we're going to be spending a significant amount of time swapping stories about our summer while sitting in cafes, taking long walks through Vondel Park, while trying to score a bottle of Absinthe.

After Barcelona is over I have to fly back to NYC. That day will be one pain in the ass. I fly Barcelona to Amsterdam via Paris. And then Amsterdam to NYC. I wish I found a cheaper direct flight from BCN to JFK, but no such luck. When I arrive home in NYC, it will be after Midnight. I'll have a few hours to collect myself, write, shower, get a fresh batch of underwear and the remainder of my bankroll before I pick up a rental car and drive to Atlantic City to cover the WPT Borgata Open. Talk about a hectic traveling schedule. Ah, but that's why I get paid the big bucks. But of course my entire two week trip ends with the Bash at the Boatyard courtesy of Al Cant Hang. I can't think of a better week to end a two week trip than to celebrate it with Al and his crew.

I'm still shocked that a degenrate psychopath like myself is getting to cover poker tournaments. As always, thanks to the Poker Prof for the giving me this amazing opportunity to write and travel. Keep that bail money handy.

Depending on internet access, I will be updating my blogs as often as I can. In addition, Flipchip hooked me up with a new camera. So unless I fuck up things completely or it gets stolen by a hooker in Amsterdam, I should have some quality photos to post here and on Las Vegas and Poker Blog.

Before I head to the airport, I wacthed Jets play their opening game. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long season for Gang Green after their awful first half. It's all about how well Curtis Martin rushes this year. And if Chad Pennington can hold onto the friggin' football. Damn, I miss football. Wait, I meant to say... I miss gambling on football.

I haven't packed yet. I did a rare pre-pack the other night and realized I was taking too much shit. So I condensed everything to my laptop case and one carry-on bag. I will pack after the Jets game. I got my passport, $400 in Euros, some of my poker bankroll in Benjamins, a camera, seven pairs of underwear, my laptop, and a map of Barcelona. I'm ready for my European excursion.


Upcoming Blogger Events

In some quick news, Iggy announced that there will be an upcoming WPBT event. Stay tuned for more details. And I will try my best to play.

Also, Bill announced the date for the next blogger get together in Las Vegas. It will be on December 10th and held at the Imperial Palace. Stay tuned for more details.

Yes, I'll be there in December for the second annual Holiday Classic. I already bought a ticket on JetBlue, the offical airline of the Tao of Poker. I'll be in Las Vegas for three plus weeks in December. I'm gonna do a roadtrip with Grubby and crash an LA Bloggers Hollyweird homegame. Perhaps we'll make a trip over the border and score donkey tanquilizers in a Tijuana pharmacia for our favorite donkey fucker? Man, we need to have a blogger event in TJ. Where else can you buy three bottles of Tequila, a fist full of pills, a tattoo, and a statue of the Virgin Mary for $12?


Final Thoughts

I've been running awful in September. My bankroll took a hit. I know 1/3 of the losses has been playing in Katrina Relief tournaments, so that money went to a good cause. However, I had a bad run at the $5/10 tables on Party Poker and that's why I'm down this month. I always like to be running good before I go away on a trip. I will try to play in Barcelona or in Atlantic City. Talk about two contrasting gambling scenes... from the uber-rich to the uber-desperate.

Last night I hung out with some old friends. I've known Senor and Gitty for fifteen years, since college and I've known Girtz for almost a deacde. We had a few drinks in the Village and caught up with each other's busy lives. In the mid 1990s we used to hang out all the time together and now that we're all in our 30s, we all are on different paths in life. We sat at table in the back of Dublin (near the Whire Horse Tavern) and Girtz wanted to play cards. He ran outside to the bodega a few doors down and found a deck. We played $1/2 hold'em in the back of the bar for a few hours. A table of trendoids next to us played Connect Four. I lost a little bit and Senor cleaned up. I hate a late night slice of pizza and that soaked up all the SoCo I consumed furing the course of the night.

I taped an episode of the Lord Admiral Card Club with Sean on Friday night. Stop by his site and download this week's episode. It should be up by Sunday night.

That's it for now. The next time I post, it will be in Europe.

In Memoriam


Jason Defazio
James Riches
Scott Hazelcorn
Matthew Burke
Charlie Heeran
Steven Schlag
Nigel Thompson

Saturday Blog Dump: Derek's Borgata Run, Top 15 Referrals, and Pauly's Pub

First of all, congrats to my brother Derek, who took second place in a MTT super satellite on Full Tilt last night. He won a seat into the WPT Borgata satellite, which will be running today at 3pm ET. Stop by Full Tilt today and sweat him! I'm already scheduled to cover that tournament, it would be cool if he wins a seat.


Top 15 Referrals

I'd like to take time out and personally thanks everyone for sending me traffic:

1. Las Vegas and Poker Blog
2. Guinness and Poker
3. Up for Poker
4. Card Squad
5. Joaquin 'The Rooster' Ochoa
6. Wil Wheaton
7. Double As
8. Aaron Gleeman
9.Professional Poker Player aka Chris Halverson
10. Poker in the Weeds
11. Joanne
12. Bad Blood on Poker
13. Life, Universe, Poker
14. Grubby
15. Poker Nerd

Are You Ready for Some Football?

The rosters are set. The fifth annual Pauly's Pub Football Pool is underway. We have a record 32 teams (plus Mrs. McNabb) vying for the prestigious "Pauly's Pub Cup." Who's gonna win it this year?

big papi (Brad S.) *** 2004 Champion ***
Oyster Bay Moore (Joe Moore) *** 2003 Champion ***
Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek)
Speed & Weed (Armen)
Marlboro and Lungbutter (A. CantHang)
Coach's Picks (Coach)
Running Back Ribs (Schanzer)
I Like Pie (Drizz)
Well Tank's for Nuttin' (Jerry)
Austin Drunk (Matt S.)
Acrobatic Ass Assassins (Flopbot)
Chumpon Chum (Senor)
2 Knuckles Deep (Daddy)
Fat Man in a Trench Coat (BigMike)
What the deuce? (Landow)
jonbenet's panties (Iggy)
World of Dorkcraft (Poker Geek)
Spasmodic Reindeer (Poker Nerd)
Big Ole Good-ens (Mas)
El UnderGARmenTE (Ugarte)
Danger Bees (Joe Speaker)
BigBoobsMcGee (April)
Area Residents (GRob)
Buckeyes (Ferrari)
CornRowsNCrunkJuice (Spider)
Professional Poker Player (Chris Halverson)
Jetsetters (Gil)
Sycophantic Sheep (Boy Genius)
Reedy River Cards (Otis)
SweetlyRetarded (Bobby Bracelet)
JustaDrunkCanuck (Joanne)
Killer Beas (JK)
LetMeHearYourBattleCry (W. McNabb)
The Redneck Riviera (Pauly)

I want to thank everyone for participating. Best of luck this year. 2004 champion Brad S. is back to defend his title. His team Big Papi is technically the team to beat. If you have not paid me yet, then what the fuck are you waiting for?


A Word From Our Sponsors

By the way, Titan Poker is full of awful players. Take advantage, especially in those soft MTTs and SNGs. I have lurking around those shallow waters all week. I know that a few other sharks like Joanne and Spaceman have also been feasting on the fish on Titan Poker.

You really should consider signing up today. Titian Poker is offering a sign up bonus of 100% up to $500. That's a kick ass deal.

They also run a special promotion. If you win 6 "Rio" SNGs, then you win the progressive jackpot. Right now it's at $40,000. If you win 5 "Maui" SNGs, then they give you a jackpot of $18,000. That's not too bad considering its a $5 SNG and the juice is only 75 cents! I won two in a row the other day then bubbled out of the third.


Updated List of Online Charity Poker Tournaments

Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Sunday Sept. 11th at 4:30pm ET
How Much: $20 + $10
Note: Full Tilt will match your $10 entry fee and that will be donated to the Red Cross' Hurricane Relief Fund.

Where: Poker Stars
When: Monday Sept. 12 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $5

Where: Poker Stars
When: Wednesday Sept. 14 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $20

Where: Poker Stars
When: Thursday Sept. 15 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $50

Where: Poker Stars
When: Friday Sept. 16 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $100

Note: Poker Stars is only adding one cent per player to the prize pool and the remainder of the money collected will go to the American Red Cross. For more information visit Poker Stars blog.

I signed up for the first two Poker Stars ones and will be posting and folding my blinds.

That's it for now.... I'll be leaving for Europe in 36 hours.

WCOOP Event #5

The World Championships of Online Poker have been going on all week on Poker Stars. Both Wil Wheaton and the Poker Nerd have been live blogging it. I also know that Chris from 21 Outs and Jan from 50 Outs have been playing. Otis has been regularly updating Poker Stars Blog with all the WCOOP action.

Thursday's event was a $200 NL rebuy tournament. I was offered a free roll thanks to Nolan Dalla who handed a few passes out to media types. A bunch of other bloggers played like CJ, G Rob, Iggy, Poker Nerd, and Wil. Some bought in and others also got the free roll. 2146 players entered WCOOP event #5. There were 1825 rebuys and 1235 add-ons in the prize pool. 225 places paid with over $218K going to the eventual winner. Some notable pros were playing such as Scott Fischman, Fossilman, Dustin "Neverwin" Wolf, Marcel Luske, and Noah "Exclusive" Boeken.

So how did I do? I got knocked out early. Hey, at least it wasn't my money, right?

Here's my notes from the WCOOP:

3:05pm... I was refreshing Card Squad to watch Wil do some live blogging. I saw that Jan from 50 Outs was one of the first players eliminated.

3:06pm... Iggy flopped a set and lost half his stack when some guy turned a straight.

3:11pm... I folded AKs on the button when the gal UTG raised and she was reraised in MP. Tight fold, eh? I made the mistake and should have pushed because I decided not to rebuy for this event. I would try to amass chips early to have a decent chance against anyone who took advantage of the add-on. I forgot my gameplan and folded. From that point on, I looked for any coinflip opportunities, something I never do so early in a tournament. Again it was different circumstances. Chip accumulation was my goal.

3:18pm... I won a small pot with 10-10.

3:29pm... I was about 1217th place with 2042 remaining.

3:49pm... With 7-7, I flopped a set and won a small pot.

3:53pm... I reraised a guy all-in with J-J. He called with AKs and flopped a friggin' flush. I needed a runner-runner straight flush to win and it didn't happen. I was eliminated in 1914th place. Not impressive at all.

4:15pm... Wil was eliminated when he made a move with QJ. He finished in 1848th place.

At that point I logged off and wrote. Here's how everyone else did:

Pauly 1914
Wil 1848
Poker Nerd 1561
G-Rob 940
CJ 799
Iggy 684
Marcel Luske 124
Exclusive 74
Fossilman 32

****** ******

Around Midnight, Daddy called me drunk from a bar in Indiana. He took me there in May and I played poker against a guy with no teeth. Anyway, he called to say how he enjoyed what a wrote about him. He's still a pussy ass pansy for walking away from his blog and needs to come to his senses.

I told him I knew how he felt about ending his blog. I've often contemplated pulling the plug on this poker blog and all of the other ones I write. Several times in the past few months I've had that internal discussion. In the end, I write about poker not because I love poker. I write about poker because I love to write. Poker happens to be one of my many interests. And when you stop by the Tao of Poker, you experience the full meaning of this site. Tao means "the way" or "the road." This blog is a means for me to share my experiences with poker in my daily life, or how poker follows me through my life's journey. There will come a time when that long strange trip ends.

All journeys end at some point.

But even if you quit a blog, unless you erase it, it will always exist. In many ways, this is how you achieve immortality. If the internet is around for the next century and the words you write are still stored for free on Blogger's server... then you will be heard in future generations.

And maybe one hundred years from now, someone will stumble upon this blog and discover that I know a guy who has fucked a donkey.

The Rooster and Charity Wednesday

New York City is a pedestrian city. While walking around you most likely will encounter a "bump into." That's just local slang for, "Guess who I bumped into today?"

The more random the person, the more weirder or uncomfortable the situation. Like that one night stand you had with that woman from accoutning after too many happy hour Margaritas. Or some guy you went to high school with, whose name you forgot. Sometimes it's a welcomed bump into and you happen to randomly see someone you haven't seen or talked to in a while. The longer you lived in New York, the more likely you will see casually someone from your past. Sometimes you can bump into a celebrity. Or an old classmate. Or a former co-worker. Or an old teacher. Or some old guy that smelled like radishes that used to live in your apartment building. Thes bump ins can happen any time or any place. In the bathroom of a Knicks game. Crossing the street in the Village. On an uptown subway. Sitting on a bench in Central Park. In line at the Angelika movie theatre. At a hipster bar in SoHo. It's like having an acid flashback without the acid.

The more time you wander around outside, the better the chance you will bump into someone you know. In the mid 1990s, when we went out bar hopping looking for drunk Jewish chicks to dry hump, my buddy Senor and I used to make prop bets on which one of us will bump into someone we knew. I usually won since I lived in the city most of my life. One night we bumped into one of his friends Igor. Yes, Senor knew a guy named Igor who was drunk and eating falafel at 3am near Washington Square Park.

One of my most embarrassing bump into involved me and my buddy Gitty. This was back when he was in law school and I was just starting out as a writer, which meant I was perpetually unemployed living in Brooklyn with all the other tortured souls. We were getting drunk all afternoon at a bar when we decided to check out one of the local porn shops near Penn Station. On our way out of one of the XXX video stores, we bumped into a some girl we went to college with. Her name was Laura and she was working for a financial start up company. She was getting off of work and heading to the subway. And there we were... drunk as a skunk and holding a bag with freshly purchased porn. Gitty liked German bondage films. I preferred the Girl Next Door Cherry Poppers stuff. We all know Laura went home and emailed all her friends and sorority sisters from school, "Pauly and Gitty were buying porn and I busted them."

One of the most satisfying acts of revenge happened to be bumping into an old girlfriend (let's call her Sabine) with someone I just started dating (let's call her Betty), who incidentally was a hundred times cooler, better looking, and had a much higher tolerance for my vices such as gambling and the occasional foray into alco-narco substances. The current flame embodied everything the old flame detested. And the old flame dumped my ass hard and fast without any semblance of remorse. You should have seen the blood flush out of her face when I introduced the two.

"Pauly's told me so much about you," Betty said as she smiled and graciously shook the old flame's limp hand.

Women understand each other better than guys. That was code for, "Yeah, the good old doctor told me how you were an ultra-psycho cunt and were awful in bed. It's gonna take me at least one more year to get his head unscrewed from the damage both you and his mother inflicted upon him."

The old flame, Sabine, mustered up some courage and said, "Good luck."

That was code for, "Just wait until that asshole cheats on you, steals all your prescription pills, and sells your pubic hair on the internet for $35. Then who's gonna be smiling? You blonde bitch!"

So wait, where is this all going?

Today I decided to walk from Times Square to Grand Central Station. It takes about ten minutes and I sauntered past the crowd filled with office workers on their lunch hour and tourists. Along the way, I purchased some Euros from my bank and refused to accept the 50 Eruo bills he had counted out for me. Fifty dollar bills are bad luck and I'm not taking my chances with Euros. He grabbed me twenties and tens and I had a nice Eruo roll that could choke an ostrich.

So I'm reaching Grand Central Station, on my way to meet my lovely assistant Jessica for lunch, when all of a sudden I heard, "Hey Pauly!"

I looked over and there's the Rooster! Yeah, Joaquin himself was standing there. He was rushing to the West Side to meet a friend for lunch, while I was truckin' over to the East Side to do the same.

He wanted to know if I was going to play in one of the card rooms in Chinatown. Supposedly the owners think I'm sort of celebrity and offered me a free roll into one of their tournaments. I respectfully declined. I'm supposed to play in a freeroll for the WCOOP on Poker Stars Thursday afternoon and with the new season of The OC on at night, I was all booked up.

So after I said good-bye to Joaquin, I called my brother and said, "Guess who I just bumped into?"


Party Poker's Charity Tournament

Derek, Iggy, and Daddy (the blogger formerly known as SnailTrax) all played in the Party Poker charity relief tournament for Hurricane Katrina. 494 players were in and 90% of the $30 buy in went to charity. I also two-tabled a Titan Poker MTT. Those recaps appear in red.

9:06pm... Iggy eliminated.

9:20pm... Daddy typed, "You stole my nutsack!" into the chat.

9:33pm... I had pocket Aces. I was up against A-T and pocket 8s. I won and tripled up.

9:50pm... I had T3160 at the break with 251 remaining.

9:52pm... Derek doubled up with a short stack.

10:05pm... Both CprHou and Mas were at my cash game table.

10:07pm... Derek was knocked out when his set of Queens lost to a river suckout. He finished in 207th place.

10:10pm... I doubled up against the table chipleader when my AJs beat out 35s. I had T7200.

10:11pm... I found pocket Aces and they held up. I had almost T9000.

10:18pm... On my cash game table, Mas hit quad 10s.

10:31pm... I found pocket aces again and they win a small pot. I had T11300.

10:32pm... Big Slick on the very next hand win another pot.

10:36pm... Daddy was eliminated in 101st.

10:50pm... I was moved to table #1. It seemed like I was constantly getting tables changed on me. I was about 7th out of 76 remaining with about $13K in chips.

11:00pm... My MTT on Titan Poker began. I had a last longer bet with Joanne. I was in the hole 24 beers and wagered 12.

11:01pm... Back on Party Poker, my 8-8 ran into a small stack with K-K. Small hit but I still had a lot of chips.

11:03pm... I won a small pot with J-J against A-10.

11:05pm... Joanne was knocked out in 80th place out of 81. Ouch. She lost the last longer and now I only owe her 12 beers instead of 24.

11:30pm... KK ran into AA. Thank God he was a short stack.

11:34pm... I was eliminated from my Titan MTT when my 8-8 ran into a guy who slowplayed A-A. I came in 49th out of 81.

11:35pm... KK held up and I had over $16K. I was 14 out of 42.

11:55pm... With almost $18K, I lost a coin flip when AKs lost to J-J. I was crippled and had less than $3K remaining.

11:56pm... With AJs on the next hand, I moved all in UTG. Pocket Kings called and I flopped an ace and he turned a set. I was eliminated in 24th place. No money for me. But 90% of my buy in went to charity so it was all good.

Later today, I'll be playing in a WCOOP event on Poker Stars. I dunno if I'll have the time to live blog it. Check in tomorrow for a recap.

He's Gone... Snail Trax Fades Away

The bad beat jackpot on Party Poker was hit during my Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League draft. Bastards! I play in a pretty competitive fantasy league with 14 teams. $2200 goes to first place. The guys who play are mostly from Long Island. They all grew up with Jay Fielder and went to high school with him. Anyway, I had the second pick and went with Shaun Alexander. I feel lukewarm about my draft. I felt that I could have done a much better job. But picking players is like picking stocks. Somedays things go so awry, that you're better off betting on whether a monkey could fuck a football.

I've been in the writing zone. It usually takes me at least a day sometimes two to write a freelance article. On Monday, I wrote two back to back. I was on fire and today I cranked out more stuff. I kinda wish I didn't have to go travel because these writing rushes don't come along too frequently. It's like poker. You never know when they are going to come, but as soon as you think you're about to go on a rush, you have to do everything possible to maximize your potential during those rushes. Hence, right now. I'm gonna throw up a half assed post so I get get back to writing.

Since I got back home to NYC after living at the Redneck Riviera for almost three months, I've taken a hit in my online bankroll. I've been doing extremely well in live cash games and tournaments, but online has been a disaster. I cannot recall ever suffering from so many brutal beats. It's happening on different sites. Party Poker. Full Tilt. Noble Poker. Inside of five days, I lost a buy-in at a limit table three times. That's never happened to me before. It's one thing to lose a lot of hands when you are a clear favorite. I didn't receive an extraordinary amount of bad beats. It's just that the four or five most brutal beats were in some of the biggest pots. I didn't flip out or anything. I only went on moderate tilt once. The rest of the times, I lost my buy in, so I couldn't go on tilt. That's part of my stop-loss strategy. If I lose a buy-in, I leave. Pretty simple. In my hit and run days, I try to win half my buy in and then leave the table.

The bad beats are something that will always happen. So I sucked it up and kept playing. I won a little bit of that money back, but we'll see how much I can recover before I hit the road.

Moving on...

Daddy said he was going to pull the plug on his blog Snailtrax, or Snailshit as his old man refers to it. I had just one word for Daddy... Pussy!

It's a shame. He has one of the most unique voices I've come across. The blogging community lost a powerful personality. Whale pussy burritos. Deep fat fried bacon-wrapped butter sticks. Donkey fuckers. Molestation by old men over tree stumps. Damn, I'm gonna miss Daddy.

In homage to Daddy, you must read Three State Bender Part I: Donkey Fuckers and Hill Jack Boys. It's about hanging out with Daddy in Indiana this past May and my quest to learn more about the subtle art of donkey fucking. That might have been one of my favorite trip reports. Ever.

You know what, I pretty fuckin' sad today. I've only felt this atrocious feeling in my stomach a few times.... on 9.11, when Patrick Ewing got traded, when Jerry Garcia died, and when my ex-girlfriend died in a car accident.

Daddy not blogging is like watching Seinfeld without Kramer.

Daddy not blogging is like eating fat-free ice cream.

Daddy not blogging is like drinking O'Douls.

Daddy not blogging is like having sex with a dead cat that's not really dead.

I might have to start calling Daddy the Trey of Poker Bloggers. If you don't know a lot of Phish conspiracy theorists think that the lead singer and guitar player, Trey, sabotaged Phish and is the reason why my favorite band broke up. Now half of these people have been spun out on ecstasy since the Bush Junta took control, and the other half of those neo-hippies adored Phish in a fanatical and cultish way. When you take away something that's sounds so fuckin' good and is truly one of the few cool things out there... well people are going to be pissed and freak out. Now, I know why Phish broke up. It's hard to do something for twenty years and not being able to evolve as artists. Their lives were changing. Their needs were changing. Their art was stagnant. Something had to give.

Life is about cycles. And those cycles represent change. So if Daddy needs to change so be it. But I'm going to miss that donkey fucker. I don't know about you, but this is one of the saddest days in bloggerdom in a very long time.

He's gone, gone, nothin's gonna bring him back.

Bonus Whoring, Card Squad, and the Fat Guy

Obviously by now, you know that my brother is blogging over at Card Squad in addition to his own poker blog Poker in the Weeds. Derek got a job with them several weeks ago thanks to the lovely and talented Jen Leo. So far, he's been doing a kick ass job. Joanne just started writing for Card Squad as well and is off to a great start too. And if having Derek and Joanne on the same poker blog isn't enough... they added Wil Wheaton to their roster. He's going to be posting the majority of his poker entries over at Card Squad instead of on WWdN. Wil will be live blogging from the WCOOP, which started the other night on Poker Stars. He's expected to play in 11 more events. I'm playing in one WCOOP event on Friday. Wil also mentioned me in a recent post. Thanks dude!

Anyway, take a peek at Card Squad. They got some pretty good writers over there. For more info about the WCOOP, stop by Poker Stars Blog.

By the way, the Fat Guy is doing something great that I have to bring attention to. He's helping set up temporary housing in Texas and needs your help! Stop by his site Buck's on the Brazos to find out how you can help Hurricane Katrina victims.

Over the weekend, I spent most of my time writing freelance articles, working on a few other projects, and answering email. I played a two online charity tournaments on Full Tilt that raised over $38K for Hurricane Relief and lost my shirt on Party Poker. Just when I finally get close to catching up on everything work related, I have to get ready for being on the road for two straight weeks ending with AlCantHang's infamous Bash at the Boathouse or "Boatyard" as Bobby Bracelet likes to refer to it. This upcoming week will be filled with trip preparations and more writing before I embark on some European misadventures. Living in Las Vegas was epic and a lot of fun, but I'd rather travel from city to city then be in one place for too long.

I have some good news. I've decided upon a selection for an upcoming book on travel stories edited by Jen Leo. She was cool enough to ask me to contribute to her book. I have two stories that I'm going to submit. One is about a bender in Amsterdam with my buddy Senor in 1996 involving a bathroom and two underaged French girls. The other, which I hope gets selected, is a short piece about my trip to Japan in 2000. I went there with Senor to follow Phish and we ran rampant through four Japanese cities in one week, partying it up and raising hell, along with meeting Japanese hippies that knew the words to every Beatles and Grateful Dead song.

I also watched a little TV this weekend a caught an episode of Entourage. That show is freakin' hilarious. Favorite moment: when Johnny Drama stole the TV from his agent's office. Fuckin' priceless. When is Wil Wheaton going to make a cameo? I watched the Yankees win 2 out of 3 against Joe Speaker's A's. I saw the Ring 2 and Naomi Watts is pretty hot, but the sequel was horrible. I really dug the first one but wasn't thrilled with the second one. She wasn't naked, not even one gratuitous nipple shot. Zilch.

Moving on...

For all you bonus whores out there, you have four interesting options.

Full Tilt has a reload bonus of 50% up to $300 ($600 deposit required for max bonus). It will be running for the entire month of September. You have 60 days to clear your bonus and to earn 16.6 points for each $1 in bonus money.

Poker Stars is running a rare reload bonus of 20% up to $120 ($600 deposit required for max bonus). It's only valid until Thursday, September 8th at Midnight ET. There is no expiration date for this bonus. In order to clear it, you have to must earn 5 FPP for every $1 in bonus money.

Titan Poker has a 100% sign up bonus up to $500. Deposit $500 and they'll give you a free $500 and have to play a certain number of hands to clear that bonus. Titan Poker is a brand new poker room that is part of the iPoker network. If you don't like Noble Poker, then stay away because Titan is one of their skins. However, if you like playing against a collection of bad players, then Titan Poker is the place for you since you're playing against the same pool of awful players on Noble Poker. Plus I like the blue tint instead of green. Look for me, I'm playing under the screen name: DoctorPauly.

Party Poker is full of friggin' fish. Iggy reminded me about the Bad Beat Jackpot Tables. I only play them when it hits $250K. It's over $325K when I last checked. In less than 16 minutes on Sunday night, while on the phone with the Poker Prof, I won back 1/3 of my weekend losses. I was shocked to see AA and KK hold up on Party Poker with 5 other people in both times! OK, Party Poker is running a short term reload bonus and you have until tonight at Midnight to take advantage. Use code: USETOWIN to get a 20% reload bonus up to $100. So you have to put $500 back into your account to get $100.

Recent Poker Playing Music...
1. Widespread Panic
2. Beck
3. John Coltrane with Thelonious Monk
4. The Flaming Lips
5. Karl Denson