WPBT WSoP Satellite #1

"We're clever but we're clueless" - Jack Johnson

We witnessed blogger history on Sunday evening. This is a special moment because we're sending one of our peers and friends to the World Series of Poker. This year it's the $1500 event and Bob will be representing us.

7:00pm EST... I knew what it felt like to be Venus Williams and find myself paired up against Serena. I wasn't thrilled to have my brother at my table, especially a table with only 7 players. Oh well, what are you going to do? My plan was to play hands fast and hard. In the first orbit I had JJ and KK and put out good sized bets preflop with no action.

The Players:
Seat 1: Derek
Seat 2: Poker Geek (arrived in Level 2)
Seat 3: ChopsHere
Seat 4: Big John (arrived Level 2)
Seat 5: Pauly
Seat 6: Columbo777
Seat 7: Monstermaker
Seat 8: ABVidale
Seat 9: - EV

7:09pm EST... Bad Blood's pocket Hellmuths hold up against Micon's AK.

7:15pm EST... Level 2 with T1410. I was in 47th out of 71.

7:20pm EST... I raised with AK, Monster raised over the top. I pushed and he called with JJ. I flopped an ace and he caught a Jack on the turn. I'm out in 71st place. With only two places paying (and in all reality I was playing for first place) I wasn't going to sit back early and let myself get chipped down while other players built up major stacks. My plan was to attack, and attack early.

7:24pm EST... Chris Halverson was the serious short stack and doubled up two times in a row.

7:31pm EST... Poker Geek dropped the Hammer.

7:37pm EST... Chad's AA lost to TT on the river and he's knocked out.

7:38pm EST... Halverson doubled up again, this time against Bob with AK.

7:39pm EST... F Train knocked out and a tear is shed in Brooklyn.

7:42pm EST... Halverson continued on his rush and KO'd the Poker Nerd.

7:50pm EST... Derek is moved to Bad Blood and Helixx's table. Helixx and the Hilton Sisters lost a big pot to JJ.

7:54pm EST... Iggy was knocked out when his pocket tens ran into AA. He joined me in the Losers Lounge for cocktails.

7:54pm EST... Helixx moved all in with the Hammer and doubled up.

7:56pm EST... Derek moved all in with AT against Helixx's short stack and AK. Derek lost a big pot and was never the same afterwards.

7:59pm EST... Derek's 44 were knocked out by the Hilton Sisters. He took 46th place. At the first break, Bad Blood was the chip leader with 45 players remaining.

8:22pm EST... HDouble hit quad 5s.

8:26pm EST... Four players moved all in preflop: Good43 with 22, VaRoadster with Ad9s, Ryan with AA, and Bugsy99 with KhQh. Ryan won a monster pot and was looking good after he knocked out two players.

8:30pm EST... BG moved all in with AQ and flopped a Queen against Ryan's Big Slick. Ryan caught a river straight and the Bobby Flay of Poker Bloggers was out in 28th place.

8:34pm EST... Ephro moved all in preflop with the Hammer and doubled up when a 2 eerily surfaced on the river, like a floater and former mob snitch in the East River.

8:40pm EST... Spaceman dropped the Hammer.

8:45pm EST... HDouble knocked out Ephro and began a huge run.

8:46pm EST... HDouble knocked out Drizz when Big Slick held up in a race.

8:47pm EST... Bad Blood sends Spaceman packing in 23rd.

8:48pm EST... Life's a Grind was busted in 22nd place when his AJ lost a coinflip.

8:49pm EST... HDouble and Bad Blood are 1 and 2 in chips.

8:51pm EST... Skitch's KK ran into AA and he was out in 19th.

8:59pm EST... TripJax tried to bully the blinds out of a pot with 89s. Jerge called with KK and DrMullet also pushed with TT. TripJax was bailed out when his flush arrived at the river and he knocked out two players.

9:01pm EST... Gracie's 44 lost to 66 and she was out in 13th.

9:03pm EST... HDouble woke up with pocket aces in the big blind. Ryan pushed with A7s and lost. He finished in 12th.

9:16pm EST... The final table arrived. And now, the players who were battling out for $840 for second and a $1500 seat to the WSoP:

Final Table:
Seat 1: ChopsHere... The guy is from Atlanta. That's Ted Turner country and the same city where I went to college.

Seat 2: Slim999... The Watertown native is new to the blogger scene.

Seat 3: Bad Blood... Representing the South Carolina contingent is the Ivy Leaguer with muscles the size of baby rhinoceros. He's a heavy metal music aficionado and can crush beer cans with his pinkie finger. He's a force to be reckoned and should not be overlooked.

Seat 4: BobRespert... He's the younger brother of BG and often wishes nutcancer on his enemies and sells drugs (legally) by day. At night he devotes his time to teaching adults to read and then cleans out bedpans at a local nursing home. The blogger with the biggest heart is the last standing Michigonian left standing.

Seat 5: JoeSpeaker... He's one of the newest writers to contribute to my Truckin' blogzine. He might be the best-dressed poker blogger according to fashion experts Felicia Lee and Joan Rivers. He's a part of the ever expanding LA poker blogging scene.

Seat 6: HDouble... The other LA blogger is a former semi-pro football who can bench press a Yugo. He has been known to speak several Nordic languages and works for a famous online poker site when he is not publishing e-books. His favorite color is Midnight Blue and he might be the smartest person living in Southern California not named Hugh Hefner. He was among the chipleaders and the favorite to win according to Irishbookie.com.

Seat 7: Txchach... He's from Pflugerville which is about five miles south of Scratchmyballstown. This is his first WPBT final table.

Seat 8: Philseivers... I think he's from Salford, PA which is near Amish country. I heard he had been killing those barn games the last few years. The Amish are rocks too.

Seat 9: Trip Jax... The man from North Carolina likes curvy butts, beers, rears, high knees, and bootylicious behinds. He nailed one of the hands of the tournament and is looking to turn his $33 into a WSoP seat.

9:17pm EST... Actually three bloggers at the final table have at one point in time written for my blogzine, Truckin'! Pretty cool. Anyway, Bob won a big pot with KQo against TripJax's 77. Bob hit a king on the turn to take it down.

9:20pm EST... Bad Blood is the first one knocked out when his 33 lost to Bob's TT.

9:25pm EST... Bob's Big Slick held up against TripJax's KQ. Trip finished in 8th and Bob took the chip lead.

9:32pm EST... Chops was knocked out in 7th place when his A7 lost to AT.

9:38pm EST... HDouble had all his money in the pot with AT and top pair. On the flop, Joe called with JTs and a flush draw. He sucked out on HDouble on the river when a 2 of hearts fell. HDouble was bounced in 6th place. In the chat, BG mentioned, "Here's when HDouble goes ballistic and smashes his fist into his wall..."

9:40pm EST... Level 11 started and Joe was in first place. Phil followed in second and Bob was 3rd. Bob and his pocket Jacks knocked out Slim's A4. Slim took 5th and the remaining players discussed making a deal to chop the 2nd place money 3 ways.

9:44pm EST... Bob won a big pot. I had written in my notes, "Bob bluffs his way to the final table."

9:46pm EST... Bob lost a big hand with K6 to Txchach's 66.

9:53pm EST... Joe won a huge pot with A5. He had 30k in chips.

9:55pm EST... TXchac is out in 4th when his KQo ran into Bob's 99.

9:56pm EST... Bob check raised Joe all in with 5-4-7 on the flop. Bob said he had 5-2o. He's the man and had most of the chips.

9:57pm EST... Bob had Joe dominated with A9s vs 10-9o. Bob had 87k in chips after he knocked Joe out in 3rd place.

9:59pm EST... It was a quick heads up battle. Bob was the slight underdog with Q8s. Phil's A6 could not hit a flop. Bob, however, flopped an 8 and a gutshot straight draw. A jack then a 2 fell and Bob's pair of 8s beats out Phil's ace high. Bob won the first ever WPBT WSoP satellite. He's the man. Congrats to Phil and everyone else who made the final table.


Wow, Bob? Fuck, yeah! It's amazing to think that just 14 or 15 months ago, 30+ of us gathered on a tiny site (and dammit those fuckers are still holding my money hostage!) and we played poker togther for fun. For many of us, it was the first time we ever played with each other. Since then, friendships were formed and a community began to flourish. We have played together on almost a dozen sites, organized mini-blogger meet ups all over the country, and even had a Las Vegas casino (thanks Dick and Sam's Town!) host one of our private tournaments. Next year, I predict that we'll be able to have the ability to send at least one of us to the main event. That is a big goal but I think we're up for this task. This is just the beginning, folks. Thanks for letting me be a part of your lives.

Lastly, thanks to Iggy and Otis for setting this up. Congrats again to the winner, Bob. See you in Vegas, dude.