WPBT WSoP Satellite #4: Joe Speaks

"Fuck Me" - Joe Speaker three minutes after he won

It's been a weird week since I got back from my three day bender in the Midwest. I put all the tales of donkey fuckers on hold and paused writing the report of Iggy's home game to play in the fourth and last satellite for the $1500 WSoP event on Poker Stars.

I am happy to say that we added Joe Speaker to the list of folks that we're sending to the big show. He'll be joining Wes, Russell, and Bobby Bracelet in Las Vegas in a couple of weeks. Good job guys. I'll be on the rail that day at the Rio. Make us proud.

Thanks to Iggy for setting these up and giving bloggers and readers with a limited bankroll a shot at winning a buy in to an actual WSoP event. Man, I'm getting so pumped up for Vegas now just thinking about all this. Thanks to everyone who particpated in all the events on both Poker Stars and Noble Poker. Some of you donated to the cause and I hope your money goes a long way.



This write up is dedicated to Drizz because he went to bed early before the tournament ended. And since Heather mentioned that she enjoyed the "time stamp" format of the write ups... we're going back to that way.

We had 66 players forking up $33 to see who would go to the Rio. I happened to be seated at the TV table. We had a ton of rail birds.

The Players:
Seat 1: 787 Style... he's part of the Austin Posse of poker players and was the brutal victim in one of the worst bad beats in WPBT history when his AA were cracked by Dr. Pauly's Hammer.

Seat 2: The Poker Prof... he's the most famous blogger in Las Vegas with the best coverage of poker, tournaments, and all things Las Vegas from an insiders perspective. He was backed by a secret blogger. The Prof is looking to make the final table in another event.

Seat 3: Pauly... he has a weakness for blondes, Orange Gatorade, and proposition gambling. He's a Virgo and often quotes obscure German philosophers in a feeble attempt to pick up strippers. He was recently interviewed by a Swedish documentary film crew and predicted to the people of Sweden that Joe Speaker was going to win.

Seat 4:litfpitr.... He likes to liquor in the front and poker in the rear. The middle-aged software sales manager is on the road 25% of the time. He lives in the heart of Tar Heel country and is looking to the make his first final table on the WPBT.

Seat 5: Anisotropy... He's a high school math teacher and a former high school grid iron star from Southern New Jersey. They call him the "Einstein of poker bloggers" because he adds up the WPBT leaderboard using his students to do all the equations.

Seat 6: Dan from Cincy... He's one of Iggy's good friends from Cincinnati and was the hook up behind the mentioning of Dr. Pauly and Snail Trax from Bonus Code Iggy. He works with the Cincinnati Reds and is looking to do some damage and win a seat in Vegas

Seat 7: Bad Blood... He's coming off a hot run of cards and has been the comeback king in the last few events. He's the metal head from South Carolina who can crush all the bloggers with his pinky finger. Look out for his son, Mini Blood, who's tearing up the WPBT Kids Tour. When he's not bench pressing a half a ton, he can be found online playing with play money on various sites.

Seat 8: Obie34... He's been a force on the Fredricksburg Poker Tour and has been improving his game with trips to Atlantic City. Obie is looking for his first final table appearance on the WPBT.

Seat 9: Iggy... also known as "The Blogfather." He's an international man of mystery. Is he a midget? Is he a former CIA agent? Is he a sober house wife from rural Ohio? A Waffle House waitress gave him shit because she jokingly commented that she could eat more that Iggy after he barely touched his breakfast. She quickly disappeared and her body washed up in the Ohio River, 27 days later. Coincidence?

9:00pm EST... Sean from Anisotropy dropped the Hammer on the first hand.

9:11pm EST... Derek went heads up with CJ. Derek had 88 and CJ showed 99. Derek caught a 8 on the turn to cripple CJ who would be out a few hands later.

9:14pm EST... Derek doubled up with 55 when he caught his set on the turn after he was outflopped by AQ. He moved into the chiplead.

9:27pm EST... In the BB, I cold call a raise from UTG with AQs. I miss the flop and check-fold to a bet from litfpitr. He showed the Hammer!

9:38pm EST... I folded pretty much every hand. I wanted to see more flops but I didn't get any marginal hands to limp in with or call a moderate raise with. 787 Style raised on the button with AA. I pushed with TT. He quickly called and hoped I didn't suck out on him like I did a few tournaments before when my 27o cracked his AA (and Charlie's KK on the same hand). I was out in 58th place. Awful.

9:47pm EST... April slowly built up a stack at her table before she lost a big pot to 88 with AKs.

9:56pm EST... Derek found the Hiltons and went heads up with Royal's AK. The flop: Q-3-6. The turn: A. The river... another ace. It gave Royal trips but Derek filled in his full boat. Derek added to his chiplead after he knocked out Royal.

10:00pm EST... Derek was in second place at the first break with Lisalisa in the chip lead.

10:10pm EST... Trip Jax had been playing solid poker the last few tournaments. He lost a big pot to Al Cant Hang and his stack was crippled. He then went on a tear: AQs beat KK and ATs beat A9s.

10:13pm EST... Derek's TT cracked Austin Drunks' AQ. Derek moved into the chiplead.

10:18pm EST... Al Cant Hang dropped the Hammer at the same time HDouble was knocked out at a different table. Coincidence?

10:24pm EST... Derek's KK holds up against Minus 790's AQ. Derek had a nice stack and won several big hands with pocket pairs vs. AK and AQ.

10:28pm EST... Trip Jax tripled up with pocket jacks. Say that three times fast.

10:31pm EST... Derek found KK again. Guess what? They held up against April98's AK.

10:36pm EST... Trip Jax ended his comeback when his Hiltons lost to AK. He was river'd.

10:39pm EST... The Jacques Costeau of poker blogger, Bill Rini, pushed all in with a short stack and KQ. It was a three way pot that ended up being bad news for Maudie. She thought her AA would be good and confidently pushed all in. She lost to 99 who had her stack covered. Bdidde hit a set and won the side pot. Bill tripled up when he caught a straight on the river. Maudie was knocked out in a daze. AA cracked!

10:42pm EST... Derek's Hiltons held up against litfpitr's 77. Derek had well over 13k in chips. The Poker Prof won a big hand and moved into second place with over 10k kin chips.

10:51pm EST... Derek lost his first pot of the night. He flopped a set with 99. With 9-7-6 on the board, Bdidde had an open ended straight draw with his 88 and pushed all in. Derek called and was river'd when a ten He doubled up Bdidde and still held the chiplead with over 10k.

10:54pm EST... Joanne doubled up against the Poker Prof when her AA beat his ATs.

10:55pm EST... The final two tables were set by the second break. Gaamblor had the chip lead and Derek was in second place.

11:12pm EST... Derek's AK lost to TXchach's 44. That was one coinflip he couldn't win. The loss crippled him and he moved into next to last place.

11:19pm EST... Derek's QQ doubled up against GMoney's TT. He was still alive.

11:20pm EST... Joe Speaker's QQ lost to Biddie's A8.

11:22pm EST... Russell's TT lost to KQ and he was knocked out.

11:25pm EST... Derek was shortstacked and moved all in with A9s. He ran into AK and JJ. He finished in 10th place and missed the final table by one seat in yet another blogger event.

The Final Table:

Seat 1: Joe Speaker... He's the best dressed blogger on the WPBT and recently signed a deal with Polo to pimp their products at the TV table. When he's not writing obituaries, he's surfing blogs and writing fiction on the side. He is not a stranger to the final table and was picked by Dr. Pauly to win it all. Huge bets were pouring into Lymiebookie.com on Joe Speaker coming out of Norway and Sweden. He's become a cult figure in Belgium and Denmark over night.

Seat 2: Jason Spaceman... he's the nickel and dimer from Tennesse who's one of most underrated writers on the WPBT. He just booked his trip to Vegas and already made a final table in the previous week. The Spaceman is making a name for himself on the WPBT.

Seat 3: Gaamblor... he's from Southern California and maintains a low profile. We think he's a former child actor or a current LA homicide detective.

Seat 4: One_Outer... he's another one of the many Minnesota players. He's a Wild fan, but who isn't?

Seat 5: On_thg... he's the second most famous poker blogger from Grand Haven, Michigan but probably the best player in the area. Sorry BG. He likes kittens, unlike BG and made another final table. He might be at the top of the WPBT leaderboard after his performance tonight.

Seat 6: GMoney... he's one of the regulars in Iggy's homegame in Cincinnati. The former Las Vegas local is a long time Deadhead and music aficionado. He's crashed plenty of blogger tables on Party Poker. This is his first WPBT final table.

Seat 7: Hydroponic... he's a pothead from Bossier City. He gets the medicinal marijuana vote and will be a force in the upcoming elections.

Seat 8: BDidde... he's from Northern California and a devoted reader of plenty of blogs.

Seat 9: The Poker Prof... he's the webmaster of Poker Player Newspaper and the mind behind Lasvegasvegas.com. He made another final table on the WPBT and we are awaiting Flip Chip to release the photos of the Poker Prof in action playing in the event.

11:28pm EST... On_thg doubled up wit JJ. And Spaceman is the first to fall right afterwards in 9th place.

11:29pm EST... GMoney and is TT knocked out One_outer in 8th place.

11:30pm EST... Joe Speaker won a big hand against gaamblor. AJ vs KJ.

11:42pm EST... The Poker Prof was knocked out in 7th place when his Q7 fell to Hydroponic's QT.

11:48pm EST... GMoney was knocked in 6th and Bdidde in 5th.

11:54pm EST... Joe Speaker won a 60k pot and took the chip lead when his AT beat out gaamblor's JTs. Gaamblor was crippled at that point and never recovered..

11:59pm EST... Hydroponic pushed preflop with AK and gaamblor called with JTs. His Big Slick held up and gaamblor was out in 4th. Joe Speaker had almost a 2 to 1 chip lead over Hydroponic's second place.

Midnight EST... Joe's A3 held up against On_thg's K9. On_thg had another impressive showing on the WPBT and almost won his second event this season. He took third place.

12:04pm EST... After a few hands of folding to raises preflop, Joe Speaker won the first big pot of head sup play. He raised Hydro on the flop of Kh-Q-h-6s. Hydro thought about it for a while and folded. Joe showed AJo and added 23k to his already big stack.

12:06pm EST or 9:06pm PCT... Joe Speaker made blogger history when his 74s beat out 92o. He pushed on the flop with a flush draw and won the tournament when he spiked his flush on the turn. He's the second LA area blogger to win a satellite to the WSoP.



Congrats to Hydroponic for a solid second place finish. Super congrats to Joe for an impressive win. Thanks to everyone who played. Thanks to Iggy for organizing and hosting another fun event. See everyone in Vegas.

The write up of Iggy's home game will be posted on Tuesday. Stay tuned. I apologize in advance if there are any wrong or omitted hyperlinks, mispellings, and grammatical errors in the write up. It's 3:40am and I'm exhausted after working on the write up for over three hours. I'll fix up all the problems when I get up.